My Brain

My brain isn’t one of those things that turns off easily. I can sit in a quiet room and think up to a hundred different thoughts in the timespan of thirty minutes. That’s right, I think a lot.

They aren’t all normal thoughts either. Oh no. I have to think of things like possible ways that I would die. Sometimes I think about what I need to do if my husband died or if we had a divorce. I have plans for both scenerios. Note: there is a difference between planning for terrible events and actually planning terrible events. I don’t want any of those events to happen, but I do have plans in case they do.

If I was just a tad bit more paranoid, I’d probably have a bunker in some mountain hidden away from satelite view. It’d probably have stocked food, toiletries, and the capabilities to cultivate in the future. I’d also have weapons there. I’m thinking high powered bow and arrow for hunting. One, because it is quiet and won’t attract people and two, because I don’t want to waste bullets. Arrows you might be able to use again. Bullets you won’t.

See, that paragraph in itself tells you the amount of thinking I do. Note: I would also have a sword and whetstone to keep it clean. Various knives as well. You can never be too safe.

It’s a wonder I get anything done with a paranoid brain like mine.

Anyway, like I said, I have a brain that runs fast. It’s not even that I think of anything actually important. Do I think about dinner for the night? No. Do I think about my plans in case a zombie apocalypse happens? Yes (I used to have a hammer in the passenger seat for that purpose).

This becomes a big issue when I’m writing. I have a long list of ideas and stories I want to get thorugh, but I can’t seem to control my brain long enough to write those stories. When I do start writing, I have problems sticking to one story at a time. Like, right now, I have three to four things going on. I have two short stories and something that I have no idea what it is, but began writing.

It’s because of this problem, that I think I need to go back into yoga. My brain is much more helpful when I have meditated first. Yeah, despite all the crazy in my head, I’m actually able to meditate.

It’s official. I’m going back to meditating. And what was the point of this post? To show that I have many thoughts and only one outlet: this blog.

Sorry about that.