In January, I was the busiest I have been in a while. Aside from the holiday buzz and getting Bug back two school, I was busy working, trying to keep my house from going completely disgusting, and writing my ass off. I am sure quite a few friends and family had the annoying daily dose of complaining from me or perhaps the everlasting cry laugh of despair.
However, it beats having boredom.
I’m sitting here right now, without any looming deadlines, a house fairly clean, and work hours that are more manageable now that everything else is in line. And I hate it.
There is something about boredom that brings out the brain demons. You may know that I have anxiety and depression or you may not. No matter, you do now.
When I am bored, I eat too much. I write too little. And, my brain starts to remember just how much it hates me.
It’s funny and not at the same time. There is a level of depression or anxiety that comes from being busy and stressed, but I find that I am at my worst when I am doing nothing. I am not fulfilling some great deed the Universe has for me. I’m not helping people and making the world better with each smile. All I’m doing is sitting and seeing how little I am.
The busy brain is easier to manage in that there isn’t time for it to yell at me. It is too busy changing lives, creating worlds, or seeing which placement of silverware is better. Even right now, I am trying to keep it busy by crafting a blog post that will ultimately end with a few facts about me:
1. I must stay busy to keep from going crazy.
2. If this keeps up, retirement is not a good idea. Not unless I have a large fund and am able to travel without care.
3. I need a strong plan for when I’m a fulltime author.
What is your busy brain like versus the boredom brain?