Healing Takes Time

Healing takes time. Sometimes, you’re heading in one direction, and a new revelation causes you to go another. I started healing after leaving my marriage. I got my first full-time job, went through court stuff, and learned how to be patient with my words and posts. And then the healing made a detour.

I acknowledged and did something about getting my ADHD diagnosis. I forgot how to write and read in a quiet setting (I’m still relearning them, to be honest). I started to get a handle on it so that I could pursue my writing more seriously. And then the healing made a detour.

Daddy’s death hit me. It hit everyone in our family. He was our rock, and in just two more months and five days (my birthday), it will be one year without him. This part of the healing has been the hardest. Divorce and playing catch-up with my peers is nothing compared to the growth I’ve endured this year. I’m proud of myself, but I would give anything for more time. Expect that feeling when the time arises. It makes it a little easier but will never remove the feelings.

Healing takes a long time. And patience. Which is definitely not something I’m wired for. But I’m so much better now than four years ago, at least in personal growth.

Next year, I’ll still be healing. But, I hope to return to my writing roots and say on my birthday, Daddy’s day, that I am closer to where he encouraged me to go.

See, he told me to start writing full-time and not to continually work on something I don’t love. So, that’s my goal next year. We’ll see how far I get. Just have to be patient and anticipate another detour.

So, what can you expect from me in 2024? I hope to return to more reviews. I hope to tell you about more writing projects happening. And I hope to be more present in this blog. I was doing pretty damn well four years ago. I had a lot of publications and was reading a helluva lot more than I do now. I want to get better at it, and I know I said that last year, but I’m sure I can be forgiven.

This coming year, though? Yeah. I got this. I want my Daddy to be proud of me. I know he was, but he wanted more. That’s the thing about parents and loving a person. You’re already proud of them, but you want more for them. Sometimes, it can look like you are pressuring them, but really, you just want them to experience no pain. Which can’t happen. We all share it in different ways and degrees. It’s life.

Healing takes time, but I have the time to make it happen. And to be more.