Feeling Good

A few weeks ago my mother and I had a conversation about life. She has been having speed bump after speed bump detouring her wanted path and had the well known blues that everyone has when confronted with the same issues. I proceeded to tell her how Karma (my chosen word for God) is watching and everything will set itself right.

The conversation brought me to look back in my life and see if there is anything that has been especially difficult for me. Honestly, there is nothing. That isn’t to say that I’m without issues. No, there’s always going to be a day where I feel that life could be less chaotic, but times like this remind me that life is special.

I’m finding that my anxiety is changing. I still worry about stupid things and the thought of death does give me panic attacks, but the overall my anxiety is changing. I’m mentally organizing my thoughts into priorities. Even my attacks have changed from the heart driven close to dying feel to a simple case of terrible nausea. It’s a great feeling to know that not only am I coping, but I’m controlling the anxiety. It’s empowering.

Yes, I am not published. Not yet, anyways. But, that hasn’t stopped me. Instead of panicking that I haven’t gotten ahead, I’m praising what I have achieved. I mean, I have a loving husband, a generous and thoughtful two year old (hyperactive too), and I am beginning to review books for people who are actively asking. I mean, it’s a great life.

That’s not to mention the amazing best friend I have and the large supportive family (both blood and spiritual). I mean, I’m blessed. And I believe everyone is blessed.

So, I have a challenge for you if you ever are feeling down. Believe me, it is a challenge even for me. Push aside the bad for a moment and look at the beauty that you do have. You may not have that dream job or the money that you want, but what do you have? It may surprise you that the problem will become small, not invisible, our problems still need to be fixed, but it will become more manageable.

And remember my mom? Well, her problems are beginning to turn around. See? It’s great feeling good.

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